Coming into this internship, I haven’t had much experience being a leader in the workplace. At school, I play water polo for the club team and, because I am the goalie, am a bit of a leader on the team. I was also the lead hostess for a restaurant, in which I trained the other hostesses and was in charge of keeping everything organized. I feel like, coming into this, I am a pretty open-minded leader. I make sure to take the thoughts, suggestions, and feelings of everyone else into account when making a decision. For me it is very important to have a relationship with the people who I am leading and to create an environment where everyone has a voice and a say in what happens. I still hold those values and believe it is very important to listen to what people have to say, however, this internship has changed the values a bit. Sometimes, as a leader, the best decision happens to be the one no one likes/wants. It is for the better, but it is the most difficult, so if it was up to everyone else, it wouldn’t be chosen. This is when it’s important to have control as a leader. Although their opinions matter, the ultimate say comes from the leader, and they must respect that choice. At work, I’ve had some moments where my kind and gentle approach has been challenge, causing me to change my approach to be a bit more authoritative for that situation. This doesn’t mean I am completely changing the way I lead, rather, that I am adapting to situations that require different styles of leadership. That is an important skill when it comes to being a leader. Being able to read a situation and adjust to what is needed in the moment is a skill I will continue to improve while I am here and will also apply future situation in which I am a leader.
Another important aspect of leadership I am continuing to develop is confidence. When it comes to unfamiliar situations I am, unsurprisingly, not very confident. However, the issue arises, that it takes me far too long to become confident after time has passed. This is happened in just about every job I have every worked. It takes me 1-2 months to begin to feel secure and confident in what I am doing, which is too much time. I learn the skill required for the job quickly, however, I am slow to apply them because I don’t feel confident enough to do so. This definitely affects my abilities as a leader. It also makes it less likely that I would be seen as a leader, since it takes me so long to showcase the skills I have acquired. Being in a Spanish working environment has helped me a bit with this issue, since a lot of expectations are unspoken and require you to make the initiative yourself. There is a lot less “hand holding” in this work culture, and they are quick to just throw you in the deep end. This was, of course, very intimidating at first, especially as someone who likes to feel 100% secure and confident in what I am doing before doing it. It still is intimidating at times, even though it has been a month, but I know that this will help me greatly in the future.
Tomorrow, at my internship, they are taking the patients to a dance, and I am coming as well. I work at a center for adults with intellectual disabilities. An important part of the curriculum there is to build their self-esteem and continue to expose them to new situations. Since I am going tomorrow, I will have to be a leader since there will be a lot of patients and not many professionals. This is a completely new experience for me, since I have only accompanied on one field trip, and I didn’t have to do much since it was in conjugation with a different company that lead the trip. I will have to adapt quickly and adjust to this new environment in order to succeed tomorrow. Hopefully I will be able to apply the leadership skills I have been building for the last month. The good thing is, the people I work with are all super nice and supportive and I trust them a lot so if a situation occurs and I end up needing help and support I know they will be there for me.