The longer the stay in a foreign country, the more important it becomes to try to act how a local would. Needless to say, it is not possible to completely blend in; even after living in France for years, some people still have habits or mindsets from their home country. But people appreciate seeing someone doing their best to adapt to others.
Around 95% of people I have encountered have been pleasant, with some being extraordinarily kind to me. But even with politeness and pleasantries, there are still challenges. There has been days where I felt like I did not fit at all, no matter how I tried, and felt a bit isolated. The most difficult aspects of French culture that I navigated were specifically in the workplace.
Adjusting to a new workplace is a learning curve in itself. If we factor in that it is a foreign country where the language is different and that I have a limited amount of time for a project, it multiplies the difficulty. If I had to summarize the challenges, I would say that in a way, I was being pulled in two different directions trying to adjust to the work itself, but also the social aspect of building connections. The latter is not difficult, but it was just that I was not sure how to build a work-life balance eventually.
It took time to get to the point where I was taking breaks, making small talk in French with colleagues, and taking the time to socialize, but also staying on top of my work. Adjusting to the French ways of keeping a flexible, spontaneous approach to tasks and work-life balance was my principal challenge.
Independence is valued everywhere in interns or employees, so I was prepared and determined. However, I often received instructions that seemed ambiguous and open-ended. In the US, when it comes to projects, plans are much more structured and detailed. Before beginning the project, an employee would usually know what to expect from start to end. Of course, if there are unforeseen circumstances, changes are made, but there is a solid plan to start with. But ideally, people stick to what is planned. Moreover, there is often a rigid list of tasks or stuff to do for interns, and it does not change by much in the US.
In France, on the other hand, there are often no complete detailed plans. There is a lot more flexibility and a mindset of, “let’s start this way and then see what happens next.” Even in situations where there are plans, they are often either abandoned or drastically changed. This is a more spontaneous approach. As for lists of tasks or requirements for a project, it is very open-ended. Again, even when lists are made, they will change drastically and very quickly. Especially during the second half of the project, I ended up adding a lot of new components to the project and changing approach.
The reason why it was difficult for me to adapt was because I had to be creative and adjust my plans dynamically as the situation change or we found out stuff did not work. It initially created a lot of stress for me, because I thought that I was just making a lot of mistakes and that led to having to change plans. But I was told that the work I have done is great quality and I am working with a very difficult dataset with a lot of noise. It was not my fault that plans had to be changed often, that was just the French approach to situations. My supervisor wanted me to create a high-quality project and try to find a novel discovery or relationship from the data we had, so he was pushing me to be ambitious and reach for the best.
Another difficulty was adjusting to a different mindset around priority. In the US, people are often proud of staying up late at night working on a project or studying for a long time. I have often seen people talking about how many hours they worked, how long they spent studying, how they pulled all-nighters, etc. People romanticize the grind a lot. I was somewhat used to the approach that working extra hours, staying up late at night, or skipping my breaks was what would make me productive. I got some type of rush from staying up late at night and working on assignments, research, or other professional projects.
As a result, in the beginning, on days where I felt like I was not making much progress and worried I would not accomplish much in 2 weeks, I forced myself to stay extra hours at work, sometimes until 8pm, which was the latest time I was allowed to stay in the building as an intern. However, my supervisor kept reminding me that I do not have to stay several extra hours at work and that it is fine to go home. I found this very difficult to accept because I had been trying to solve a problem for hours and stubbornly believed if I stayed a little longer, I could take care of it. However, I eventually felt exhausted from this and started to make a rule for myself that I would stay no longer than 6pm or sometimes 6:30pm.
With this mindset, I got the rest I needed to refresh my mind and somehow, despite working less hours than I was, I accomplished more. I still have the tendency to stay up late at night working, so this is a habit difficult to completely discard, but I am getting better at avoiding it. In France, I really do not see the practice of staying up late at night at work to grind, at least not at my internship.
At the end of the day, I don’t think I am at the point where people would look at me and assume I am Parisian or French! However, I definitely think I am assimilating and becoming more natural. I no longer feel awkward or nervous when having long conversations at work in groups or one-on-one. The tendency I have to stay up late and grind is still present, but weakening. Everything passes more seamlessly and I feel confident about interactions. Moreover, I have been asked directions by tourists a couple of times and locals are responding to me in French more often rather than switching. So I have a good feeling that it will get better.