When I think assimilation, one idea comes immediately to mind. Language. It’s easily the largest cultural barrier to overcome when living in a new country, because having good speaking skills is everything. This is no different for Germany. Deutsch is just the way natives do things, from grocery shopping to ordering a beer.
As such, I’m put in a bit of an awkward position as someone who doesn’t speak fluent german. I have what I call toddler german. I can get by with “Danke schön” and “ich hätte gern…”, but as soon as the conversation gets deeper than a surface level topics, I’m left asking “Sprichst du Englisch?” and carrying on from there.
Logistically, this is not a huge deal. Europeans are socialized to learn different languages when they are young, and Berlin is so multicultural that knowing English is an expected skill. English is the lingual glue that binds the city’s rapidly growing population of people of non-german origin.
This makes Germans here especially great at code-switching. If they can detect an American accent, they will go straight to English to make themselves easier to understand. Pause for an uncomfortable length of time? English. Nod your head and mutter “Genau” 3 times in a row? English.
My workplace works the same way. We have a developer working remote from the Middle East and have clients that are based in North America. Many of my co-workers speak in English to reduce friction and keep the entire team on the same page.
I appreciate their courtesy, but sometimes I wish that I came into contact with less fluent English speakers. A big reason I came to this country was to immerse myself in the language, but ironically I’m moving day by day speaking a large amount of English. I want to struggle, I want to learn and grow. Learning a language, like anything hard, is built on the foundation of blunders and gaffes.
I feel accepted and I feel seen by my colleagues, but there is always a lingering sense of “I don’t belong”. When my co-workers switch to German, I can usually track what they say, but I’m always 4 words behind. Short quippy responses don’t surface when I need them to, and sometimes German equivalents don’t exist. I hope that if I surround myself with native speakers, this will click in due time.
There have been some wins though. I specifically remember a time a few weeks ago. Our IIP group was exploring the weekly flea market in Wilmersdorf. The sellers skewed older and many were natives that had stocked a large supply of antiques over time. Additionally, I had a unusual amount of practice when it came to shopping for clothes (thanks Duolingo).
It was a rare moment where I felt I had a mix of decent conversing skills with an environment of people that couldn’t code switch like younger Germans can. It was awesome. It’s such a small victory, but it’s something. I understand why people put so much emphasis on learning a foreign language in life. It feels like a superpower to be able to understand people that grew up in a totally different cultural environment.
I don’t know, maybe all of this sounds posh, but it’s truly how I feel. It’s just another way that living in a country differs from a week-long tour. I’m so glad I’m here.
Bis später 🙂