Week 4 Recap

I spent the past weekend with my friend Elizabeth in Dublin, which was such a grounding experience. Elizabeth has been an anchor for me throughout my journey, so reconnecting with her in person felt like a full-circle moment. We explored the city, wandered through historic streets, and visited pubs like The Old Stand, McCafferty’s, and Devitt’s. Over plates of bangers and mash and fish and chips, we swapped thoughts about life in Pittsburgh versus Dublin and the broader cultural gaps between the U.S. and Ireland. These conversations helped me process a lot of the emotions I’ve been having about living and working abroad.

On top of that, my partner Thomas arrived in Dublin! The three of us had amazing Vietnamese food at Pho Ta, and it was comforting to share a little piece of my new world with people who know me well. Spending time with familiar faces was a much-needed pause from the cultural adjustments I’ve been navigating day to day.

Adaptation

Despite how warm and welcoming Irish people generally are, I’ve found it challenging to adapt to a cultural trait that feels contradictory at times. While the friendliness is genuine, I’ve noticed that there’s often a narrow social lens through which people are expected to behave. There’s an unspoken idea of what is considered “normal,” and those who fall outside that perceived standard are often immediately labeled or characterized in limiting ways.

This doesn’t usually come from a place of malice, and I don’t want to suggest that the Irish are unkind—on the contrary, many are incredibly generous with their time and conversation. However, there seems to be less social fluidity or room for eccentricity here, especially in public or professional contexts. For example, I’ve noticed that when someone presents in a way that’s not typical—whether through clothing, mannerisms, or behavior—they’re more likely to be called out, sometimes jokingly, sometimes more seriously. Even when the comments are intended as banter, it can be uncomfortable to have aspects of one’s identity reduced to stereotypes.

In the workplace, this narrowness shows up subtly but persistently. There’s a preference for maintaining social cohesion, and that often means that people who express themselves differently, whether more openly emotional, more introverted, or more direct, may be seen as disrupting the norm rather than simply adding to the diversity of perspectives. While I try to fit in without losing my sense of self, it’s a constant balancing act. I find myself masking more than I’d like to avoid standing out in the wrong way.

A Personal Struggle

What’s been even harder than adapting for myself is seeing how my partner is treated differently here. We’re both neurodivergent, but I tend to mask more easily in public spaces. Thomas doesn’t, and that difference has made him more vulnerable to being judged or excluded in subtle but painful ways. They rarely engage him with the same warmth they show me, even when we’re standing right next to each other. It’s disheartening to see these social walls go up so quickly. I want him to enjoy his time here, to feel like he belongs in this adventure too, but the culture’s rigidity around behavior makes that difficult. And yet, there’s little I can do to change how strangers react. All I can do is support him and continue to advocate for compassion and open-mindedness wherever I can.

Being in this situation has made me appreciate even more the culture we come from, especially in a city like Pittsburgh, where individuality is more often celebrated than scrutinized. At home, we’re used to seeing a broader range of personalities and lifestyles as part of the fabric of daily life. 

Looking Ahead

Despite these challenges, I’m trying to remain open and flexible. After all, the whole point of this experience is to grow, not just professionally, but personally. Living abroad means coming face-to-face with other ways of being, some of which may make you uncomfortable or even hurt. But these experiences also teach resilience, empathy, and how to build bridges across differences.

I’m genuinely excited about my upcoming trip to Budapest, and I hope that traveling outside of Ireland, even just for a weekend, will give me more perspective on the diversity of cultures within Europe. I also plan to visit Elizabeth again soon at Galway University. These small adventures help break up the intensity of homesickness.