Current State of Mind

To be completely honest, I was sort of my breaking point today. I came here to get away from home, but I am starting to miss home, and I don’t really get homesick anymore. It has almost been a week of being here and my allergies have been getting worse. I can barely breathe and I am putting in my last few brain cells writing this blog post. I wish we had more breaks because today has been nonstop lessons and I was getting delirious. I am sort of getting tired of the routine because it’s just constant lessons, and honestly as someone who graduated and don’t necessarily need the credits was hoping this would be a study abroad where I could truly bask in the beauty of the Himalayas. I wanted to get away from my life from the states and have a mental break before entering my life post undergraduate, but I feel like I’m more burnt out than feeling refreshed. Today we were crammed with a lot of wilderness first-aid stuff which I found really interesting and was focused for a good portion, but I started to lose fuel after the 6th hour of nonstop learning. I honestly feel like I’ve had more hours of class in my Maymester than I ever had during the semester. The first-aid lessons are something I want to get better at because I think it’s practical to learn basic survival skills.

Goals

My personal goals during my reflection were to find my inner peace or sense of purpose. As I got older I realized I was starting to lose sense of who I am because I’ve changed so much throughout middle school to college. I feel like I am trying to be all versions of myself, but I’ve been really burnt out currently in life and wanted to take a step back to figure out who I really wanted to be during this trip. I also wanted to figure out what my next long-term goal was once I start working. In college all I was ever obsessed about was getting an internship and eventually a job. I worried so much about this that I never really had the chance to let loose knowing how uncertain I was about my future. Once I secured the job offer is when I started to let loose, and realized how much time I wasted due to not enjoying the present. I hope to work on enjoying the present more and not stress about the future as much as I did before. My last semester at Pitt was amazing and all the times I’ve thrown up was honestly worth it.

Perspective

This week was more of a classroom setting rather than an exploring setting. I was able to get a good sense of everyone’s style in leadership and personalities. My initial prediction of how I’d be and how everyone else would be matched my expectations. I was able to watch how everyone interacted and how it clashed. There were individuals that kept trying to bring up their points when no one was listening and then there were others that would just stay quiet if they weren’t heard. I hope to do a better job at being the mediator and communicating with everyone else in order to create a better balance for when it comes to coming to expressing ideas. This blog was honestly boring as hell because nothing cool really happened, and it was all classroom stuff this week. To compensate here is a nice back view of my head. I’m also getting tired so I will cut it short today (If we had a day or two to chill maybe I’d have more brain cells to type).