It is currently midnight and I have found myself back at the YWCA where the journey all began. I dropped my phone on my face and got this cut on my lip which hurts like hell, and my eye is twitching like Davy Jones. There is exactly two days left until I get to see my family again and I am honestly so excited to go back. How I feel currently would be mixed emotions. I am happy I completed the trek but at the same time I feel like it has not truly hit me yet. I say I want to leave but I’m scared I’m going to miss the people I met in this trip. There is a saying that goes something like “You don’t realize the good times until it’s gone” and I feel like this is one example of it. I have more exciting trips on sight for me after this trip so I have a lot to look forward to.
What have I learned about myself during this trip? I wouldn’t say anything drastic has changed since this trip, but I would have to say my mindset has changed a lot. I grew to appreciate a lot of the small things back in my life in America during the trek. Not having the certain necessities in my daily routine was difficult to overcome, but eventually I grew to embrace it. Weirdly enough after not showering for 10 days my skin and hair got so much better. Ironic right? I learned to be more patient with different personalities and learned to not care as much because dealing with difficult people is inevitable. What I learned about leadership is that it is so much work. I knew my leadership style was going to be servant prior to entering the trip and I was right. I saw some peers display great examples of this and learned more about this leadership theory from this. I also learned a lot through my own and other individuals’ mistakes. There were times when I’d question why certain people acted certain ways and I dived deep into if it were for the group’s best interest or the individual’s own pride and ego. I observed why people would freak out during social scenarios and learned what I did not want to be. I also observed my own tolerance levels and my breaking point. I am glad I did this trip now instead of 3 years ago when I originally signed up because I see that version of myself in a lot of individuals, and this is in no way saying I am any better. Wow, I sound so condescending right now please forgive me. I am only saying this because a great man once said “If it sounds like I am coming at you, it’s not. I am coming at my past self.”
A few things I can do to continue being a great leader would be to observe more and adjust to how people are. I had this thought that when people in put in pressured situations they can be very irritating, this thought appeared as I connect back with people back at home, and my biggest fear is not knowing how to deal when people are in distress or how to deal with myself when I am in distress. I learned that I tend to go quiet if I am stressed out and would lash out when someone says something I can see coming from a mile away. I want to get better at vocalizing my concerns instead of holding it in and say it in a kind way. Another thing I want to do is take more burdens off from my team in order to let their lives be easier. How can I put these things into use? When I start working full-time is when I plan on utilizing this. It will be a lot of trial and error, but I feel like it will work out in the end.
