Ciao tutti,

It’s time again for another update from me! I am grateful to report that so far in my study abroad journey, I continue to fall in love with the city of Florence more and more every day. There is so much history here, and I find something new daily. One of my main goals in coming here to Italy was to learn what it means to be an authentic Italian and reconnect with my roots. However, whether it’s my internship or in general, the thing that makes it hard to assimilate here in Italy is that I am American. Being American cannot be changed, nor would I want it to be, but due to the number of tourists Florentine people see daily, I think they can smell if you are American from a mile away. Now, that is a problem for me because while I am here in Italy, I want to live as authentically Italian as I can. A big part of that is speaking their language, which I have been studying for the past two years. The problem is that even if I walk into somewhere like a coffee shop, for instance, and I start speaking in Italian, most of the time (if I am in the city center), they speak back to me in English. It was frustrating at times, especially at the beginning of my stay here, because I was trying to practice my Italian language skills. 

At first, I used to get frustrated with some locals for doing this. However, I started thinking, “What if they are trying to practice their English just like I am practicing Italian?” This mindset made them speaking to me in English not feel as bad. However, the biggest thing that helped me overcome this obstacle and live more authentically was to continue to talk in Italian even when they were speaking English. I have done this day after day everywhere I go. If they speak English, I act like they don’t, and I continue speaking Italian. Which I can proudly report is a strategy that is working! There is one coffee shop near my apartment that I usually go to before my internship, and he would consistently speak to me in English, but I have continued to talk to him in Italian. Just the other day, when I asked him in Italian if he had any of the cream croissants, something shifted in him, and he exclaimed excitedly that my Italian is improving and he would love for me to come in more often and practice. Therefore, teaching me consistency is the way to go because once the Florentines realize you are not just a tourist popping in for a day, they begin to want to help you and get to know you.

Now, one thing I have noticed that Italian people do at work and in school that is highly different from those in the States is that they are very ambiguous. In school or at work, you are not given directions on what you should be doing or how to do something. For example, I had a project for an economics course, and the directions were only one line. When I asked my professor if he could clarify what he was looking for in my project, he told me to enjoy researching things. So, I had to get creative with no rubric and no direction. I feel this concept might be super uncomfortable for many American students because we are used to a lot of structure and specific directions.

Furthermore, even though it may sound cliche, I have been dealing with this by leaning into the uncomfortable feelings the ambiguity causes me to feel. I start to write down ideas that come to mind when I think of the assignment title or tasks I can do at my internship and roll from there with plenty of trial and error. Even though it may be stressful for someone with a type A personality like me, it can also be freeing by allowing yourself to give in to the uncomfortableness and use the feelings of uncertainty and turn them into creativity. I always had trouble with it back at home, but I was forced to face it here because there was no other way. 

Uncertainty and uncomfortable are two common words for how I felt starting my experience abroad. While I feel I am pretty independent back in America, this is a whole new level. And when I stepped off the plane to look at the Tuscan hills for the first time, those feelings came over me like an ocean wave pounding me into the sand. It was this feeling of “oh, I am like here alone” because, at the time, I knew no one. I did this experience independently and did not meet anyone else coming to Florence with me before leaving the country. However, truly, over a short amount of time, those feelings of uncertainty turned into a feeling of freedom, but that is because I leaned into those feelings. During my first weeks in Florence, I forced myself to walk around, explore the city, and be with my thoughts. On my first day of doing this, I practically cried during my walk, afraid that my dream of living in Italy may have put me in a situation where I was in over my head. However, by the end of my first week, I remember walking around the neighborhood of Santo Spirito and feeling a wave of a feeling I had never truly felt in this way before: freedom. It was like a weight lifted off of me, and I smiled, looking at the buildings, realizing that because I was here on my own, I could see what I wanted to see, do things I wanted to do and live an authentic journey tailored to my wants. While usually, back in the States, I try to make choices that appease the group, here, I get to be me. So, my newest favorite thing to do is turn down different streets I have never been on before, no maps, no nothing, just allow myself to get lost in the city’s beauty and then find my way back home to my apartment. It has proven to be the best way for me to learn to navigate around here, and it has taught me that I love to walk around and explore in an unscripted way. More than I ever thought I did. So, on that note, if you come to Florence and see a girl walking around with a big smile on her face, looking up at the buildings around her, it is probably me.

A presto,

Bella